5 Strategies to Help Dad Accept In-Home Care

Introducing the subject of in-home care can be difficult for everyone, especially for dads. They can be stubborn and proud when it comes to accepting "unneeded" help. Many fathers are used to taking care of the rest of the family so having the roles reversed makes them uncomfortable. Add in denial about their declining health and it's no wonder you two are butting heads over getting outside help.

If you're sure you need some extra help, but you're unsure how to start the conversation; read on for our 5 tips on how to convince your dad to get home care.

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1. Understand why he is resistant to care
   Sit your dad down, listen to his concerns, and try to figure out his motivation for resisting care. The most common reasons are lack of privacy, cost of getting care, loss of independence, or having a stranger in the house. Try to assuage these fears and provide concrete reasons as to why he has nothing to worry about.
2. Treat him like an adult
   As parents age they can get more stubborn, mean, or disagreeable. During these times it can be tempting to treat them like children, talk down to them, or infantilize them. This can further anger them and make them feel like their feelings or words are invalid. When talking to him about home care try to keep your tone even and be reasonable.
3. Make decisions together
   Try to include your dad in all aspects of the caregiving process. Letting him have some control over when to interview caregivers or when a caregiver should come to the house will help him keep some sense of freedom.
4. Say the help is for you
   If you are currently the primary caregiver - say that you need help, not your parent. This will reduce the feeling that their independence is being threatened or encroached upon. Emphasize how having a caregiver will help you handle household chores or deal with caregiver stress.
5. Be patient
   Deciding to hire in-home care is not a quick decision and changing your dad's mind overnight will not be possible. For many, it could take weeks or even months to convince them to get extra help. If you believe that dad needs a caregiver, be patient and persistent.

Maybe you've had this conversation before or you're dreading having the conversation in the first place, but it's important to have an honest and respectful talk about home care with your dad. While he may be resistant to the idea at first, if you follow the tips outlined above, it will be easier for him to accept help.